Prospective Titles for my Autobiography

Through my blogging and my daring interpretive dance set, I’ve reached a certain level of notoriety recently.

The public have begun asking questions, most commonly, “Who the fuck are you?”

I take this as an invitation to share my life story, such as it is, with the people. I’ve entered into talks with a leading publishing house (for legal reasons, I can’t reveal which – but if I drop the hint that it was founded by a prominent quantity surveyor, I think you’ll probably guess) and I’m hopeful we’ll have ironed out a book deal by the new year.

Whilst I’m waiting for the go-ahead to actually start writing my memoirs, I’ve been weighing up a few prospective titles. Here’s a sample.

  • Writing self-deprecating notes to yourself doesn’t make you modest & other closetothebone home truths.


  • Having never had a boyfriend AND having cold sores is really just adding insult to injury & other tales from my adolescence.


  • Maybe you should try NOT thinking that way & other pieces of useless mental health advice I’ve received.


  • Esoteric & other $5 words I pretend to know.


  • Camus? I love him. He’s so esoteric. & other lies I’ve told to sound smart.


  • Bedheads and Hockeysticks: PE at 8am – a Survivor’s Story


  • Oh wow it turns out getting a tattoo actually hurts quite a lot & other things I’ve said after making a snap decision.


  1. Discerning autobiography reader · Jun 5, 2018

    I would buy all these autobiographies regardless of which language they were written in.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. moyatori · Jun 5, 2018

    I like the first one 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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