Interpreting Your Dreams: World Cup Edition

How are England’s chances in the upcoming FIFA World Cup in Russia? Most people agree that our side has as much chance of lifting the trophy as Ksenia Sobchak had of being elected president in March (#politics).

Nonetheless, as a football-loving nation, sleep experts predict that the prevalence of football-related dreams will increase tenfold in the upcoming weeks. The Society for the Interpretation of Dreams (SID) has released pamphlets providing information about the most common footie-based fantasies (England wins, England loses, the entire team forgets their kit and has to compete in vest and pants, Germany is disqualified for slaughtering Brazilian players on the pitch); yet to my dismay, some of the most interesting dreams have been left off the list.

Here’s one of my favourites.

Shin Pads

Everyone’s been there: you snuggle up in your duvet, having guzzled a tall glass of warm milk, ready to peacefully wander into the Land of Nod – but when you close your eyes, all you see are shin pads. Rows upon rows of them. Shin pads as far as the eye can see – all different colours and brands, some with that new-car smell, some reeking of overpaid leghair. Such dreams can haunt a person for weeks on end.

Luckily, there’s nothing inherently sinister about dreaming about shin pads. Shin pads symbolise protection, but protection from a threat you have exposed yourself to purposefully. Such dreams may imply you’re feeling uncertain about a risky decision you’ve just made and want to be prepared for any outcome.


  1. Major Styles · May 29, 2018

    “Germany is disqualified for slaughtering Brazilian players on the pitch”

    Yes, because the German people are animals. *rolls eyes*


    • death and the penguin · May 29, 2018

      Hi! I was trying to reference the match a few years ago when the German team destroyed Brazil 7-0 or something like that. Sorry if that wasn’t clear!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Major Styles · May 30, 2018

        Sorry that I misunderstood you. Point duly noted.


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