Excellent ways to name your pets: Volume VIII

Be a visionary in your community: call your dog Mouse.

Excellent ways to name your pets.

Generic Animal Names

‘Proper’ nouns.

“Proper” nouns.

Proper nouns!!??? Pfffffff!!! Stick it to those pretentious words by calling your pet by a supposedly unproper noun.

Hell, I’m all for calling a spade a spade: if it’s a dog, “Hello, Dog!” If you’ve got a cat, “Hey there, Cat!” If you have a lesser spotted Eurasian hedgehog, …

You get the idea.

I know what you’re thinking. What if you have more than one of the same kind of pet? You can’t exactly have an entire pack of dogs called Dog, can you? That would be ridiculous. Luckily, I’ve thought of a few solutions which might solve your problem:

  1. Be more specific: Chihuahua, Labrador, Mixed Breed Rescue, and so on.
  2. Be less specific: Mammal, Being, etc.
  3. Misname. Call your Husky Wolf and your goldfish Shark. This has the additional benefit of allowing you to intimidate your neighbours by yelling “Bear!!!!!!!!” at all hours of the day.

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