Get out your engraving tools, lads. Your fuzzy friend’s collar isn’t gonna be bare for much longer.

Excellent ways to name your pets.

Modernday Heraldic Titles

Forget Richard the Lionheart and Æthelred the Unready – that shit is dated. For a noble name with a modern twist, simply combine names of authors you studied at school with sciencey jargon you don’t really understand. Hey presto – your iguana has a classy name that suits both his social superiority and forward thinking attitude.

• Steinbeck the Blueshift
• Attwood the Eutrophic
• Chaucer the Saponification
• Delaney the Vesicle
• Sylvia the Immiscible
• Nabokov the Amphiphilic

and, of course,

• Hemingway the Isopropyl.